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For My Kids 2: Contentious Woman v. Gracious When I was studying this, I couldn't help but notice how all of the traits found in each of the other sets are also found in the section called "foolish". It was almost like "foolish" was a broad statement and the others were subsections. Then it dawned on me! The light bulb went bright. "Foolish" is the general degree, the BA. Liberal Arts maybe? *grin* "Contentious", "Strange", and "Indiscreet" are the majors, with some recieving their Masters and even Doctorates. Some industriously wayward folks are really good with their general foolishness alone. Some though, have became specialists. Some entirely, and wickedly, special people are masters of one, and some have mastered all four. Having gotten home from church, and dinner in in the oven. And so while my cheese bread gets hot lets stoke some non-PC fires and address the next set. These are the "Contentious Woman" versus the "Gracious". It seems that my particular bane has been the contentious woman. They will break your heart every bit as quickly and deeply as an adulteress. Know them well. The Contentious Woman v. the Gracious Woman The Contentious Woman The American Heritage Dictionary defines "contentious" this way: con·ten·tious, adj. 1. Given to contention; quarrelsome. Synonyms are argumentative and belligerent. The word translated into the English as "contentious" comes from the Hebrew word that means"one given to strife", and, "one easily angered". She is habitually argumentative, and will go about looking for something to argue over. She picks fights for the sake of fighting, and will at times see things to fight over where none actually exist. Her bent for the negative will see her value the wrongs done to her over the blessings given. She remembers the whatever wrong has been done forever, and rapidly forgets those blessings. She is often sullen, and glowering at someone if she thinks she isn't getting what she wants. Other times, when she is raging against someone for some perceived or made up slight, it is her way of seeking to justify a wrong she herself has committed, or wants to commit. She may very well have committed adultery against the relationship. But she will look for flaws in her mate so that she can justify her own infidelity. And her whip is a harsh one. The contentious woman is quarrelsome by nature, and her anger flashes, and she lashes out. As a result she causes walls to grow between herself and those who love her; and those will often simply go away just to avoid the constant conflict. Her "contentions" are in fact one of the tools by which she destroys her own house. Proverbs 19:13 King James Version: 13A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. New International Version: A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Amplified Bible: 13A self-confident and foolish son is the [multiplied] calamity of his father, and the contentions of a wife are like a continual dripping [of water through a chink in the roof]. A contentious spouse is like a rainy day that never ends, with a constant dripping of water through a hole in the roof. It is rather like the 'Chinese Water Torture'. And in fact her assaults, though verbal (usually) are a form of abuse. Proverbs 21:9 says; King James Version: It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. New International Version: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Amplified Bible: It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman. The idea is that it is better, healthier, more peaceful, to live in solitude, exposed to all of natures elements, than to live with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:19 ratchets it up several notches. Intensifying exposure to the rages of nature, the Lord revealed to Solomon to write; King James version: It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. New International Version: Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Amplified Bible: It is better to dwell in a desert land than with a contentious woman and with vexation. Proverbs 27:15 King James Version: A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. New International Version: A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; Amplified Bible: A continual dripping on a day of violent showers and a contentious woman are alike; Solitude is preferable to contentious woman. Her constant rain will wear you down. And the desert land is one that she will drive her man into. Ya got this Jo and Tab? Interestingly, the root word for the Hebrew means "to submit; ruled, governed". But the actual word used is a derivative which portrays a strong stubborn streak. Her stubborn streak impacts every area of her life from employment to marriage. So its not just the men (fathers and mates) in her life that she gives fits, but just about anyone she perceives as having any sort of authority. This includes employers, and she likely but not necessarily has a poor employment history. As a stubborn person she will push her points beyond all reason, and all propriety. Pastor Swindoll tells of a woman who visited him at his office. She wanted his advise on something. Instead what she wanted was his validation, and when he would not give it she kept repeating herself over and over, provoking, trying to get him to change his mind. Finally he told her that his views were his, she did not have to accept them, but he wasn't going to change his view. She left in a huff. The husbands of contentious women come to picture her to be riding a white horse with hell following behind her. In fact, many ministries have fallen due to a contentious wife. Jezebel, Delilah, and King David's wife Michal were contentious women. Look them up. Regarding Michal, her father knew the type of woman Michal was, and that she would be a snare for David (1 Sam 18:21) When King David danced for joy, she had only words of scorn for him (2 Sam 6:14, 20-22). God cursed her for this. What is noteworthy is that there are Christian women who are "contentious". This even though being so is wrong, and could be completely done away with through the loving Grace of God. However, as the contentious woman is usually also a foolish woman, she holds onto this sin. And there is nothing her husband can do to help her quarrelsome nature, nor really ever appease her, or halt her complaints. Neither can her employers or children for that matter. Proverbs 27:15-16 states; King James Version: 15A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. 16Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself. New International Version: 15 A quarrelsome wife is like 16 restraining her is like restraining the wind Amplified Bible: 15A continual dripping on a day of violent showers and a contentious woman are alike; 16Whoever attempts to restrain [a contentious woman] might as well try to stop the wind--his right hand encounters oil [and she slips through his fingers]. He tries to help, and she slips through his fingers indeed. In fact there is only One who can work with the contentious woman. As she won't surrender to His will completely either, He must and will employ something other than His grace. About anyone with a contrary heart Proverbs 6:12 declares (strife and contentions are synonyms).King James Version: 14Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord. 15Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy. New International Version: 14 who plots evil with deceit in his heart— 15 Therefore disaster will overtake him in an instant; 14Willful and contrary in his heart, he devises trouble, vexation, and evil continually; he lets loose discord and sows it. 15Therefore upon him shall the crushing weight of calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken, and that without remedy. The New Living Translation:14 Their perverted hearts plot evil, and they constantly stir up trouble. 15 But they will be destroyed suddenly, broken in an instant beyond all hope of healing. It requires an act of G-d, to bring calamity to the life of a contentious person to bring change. The calamity brings such terrible hurt, hurt from whence there is no healing. Sometimes it takes several calamities to really get their attention and cause them to give up their contentious nature. Too often that calamity affects her whole family. It will certainly affect her mate. The Gracious Woman Proverbs 11:16; King James Version: A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches. New International Version: A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth. The New Living Translation: A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth. Back again in Proverbs 31, and other places, it says about that graciousness is shown by: > 1. her speech 2. her appearance 3. her response to authority The gracious woman is a woman of appreciation. She appreciates other people. She remembers the good people do forever and forgive wrongs done her immediately. She is a woman of affection, not a carnal and licentious type, but rather of a nurturing type - and to anyone she meets. Lady Di and Mother Teresa typified this type of affection. And they are quite comfortable in showing such. |
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